This was sent to me from i.j. & Associates Technical Recruiters (the guy was named Anthony, but I wont tell anymore about him here). Tell them you love me and they should fid me a good gig or you'll spit on them in the street.

I can't believe they sent this many questions.

I took out the personal Info, but left most of the rest in, and then just formatted it, because the damn thing was A GINORMOUS WORD 97 DOCUMENT that I filled out and emailed back to them.

technical recruiters my ass...

I got this on 20 October, 1998; if you care about those things.


email:
slappyjack@slappyjack.com
Current position:
Technical Support / Webmaster
Current Salary and Bonus:
$26 K/year
Current Benefits and Vacation:
Full Medical, Dental. 2 wk vacation, accumulated over time.
Position(s) desired:
(1) Network Administration, preferrably in an Internet environment working with HTTP servers, or POP/SMTP

(2) Webdesign

Salary Desired:
$35K/year
Benefits and Vacation Desired:
Medical/Dental. Vacation time is nice, but as long as I can get the time needed off with or without pay, I don't really worry about it.
What are the three of the most important things you look for in a job?
1. Not the stuffy corporate atmosphere where guys that dress well and kiss ass get over on top of the people that roll up their sleeves and get down and dirty to get the work done

2. Casualness. Especially if customers don't ever see you. Making you dress in a monkey suit to look professional does NOTHING to make you feel professional, but it sure goes a long way in irritating you.

3. It better be fun and interesting, or I'm going to lose interest right quick.

Will you know the position you want when you see it?
I'll have an idea, but noone ever really knows until the honeymoon is over.
Is there anything that would prevent you from making a job change?
No.
Are there any particular companies that interest you?
Companies that are looking to put content onto the internet.
Are you willing to relocate? Where?.
When I finish my MCSE schooling and tests I'd be willing to move, but its on a case by case basis. Don't try to put my ass in the middle of nowhere, because I won't take it. I like big cities with a good amount of culture a low percentage of rednecks.
Are you willing to pay part or all of relocation expenses?
Yeah.
What is the commute time or geographic area you are willing to consider?
Commute time depends. I'd like to keep it low, but wouldn't mind commuting to a job that paid me enough to replace the Deathmobile with something nice.
Why are you leaving your current position?
Have you ever worked customer support? Well try it on a product you've gotten no formal training on. It becomes even more crappy that it usually is.
Are you working with any other recruiters? Who?
Not really, they call, ask if I want a support position, I tell them no, they give me the standard "Well, well keep looking for you" and I never hear from them again, for the most part. It all breaks down to the fact that my "Skillsets" aren't chok full of years of experience and everyone is looking for plug-and-play employees they don't have to train, then they have the gall to bitch about a shortage of IT workers... well, DUH!
Where has your resume been sent?
Pretty much to every email address I can get my hands on. Eventually someone is going to give me a job so I knock it off.
Where have you interviewed over the past 6 months?
Only on the phone to recruiters that all ask me the same questions I answer on the internet at the sites they got my resume from in the first place.
Do you have any interviews or offers pending?
No.
What would be the best time(s) to do a phone interview? How much advanced notice ?
Mon, Wed, or Fri after 5 or so, or Saturday when I'm not at school. If you call me to set up an interview, I'm going to call back as soon as I can, as quickly as I can
What would be the best time(s) for a face to face interview? How much advanced notice?
About a weeks notice and I can take a half day to come talk to you in the afternoon. However, its got to be MWF, or Saturday, and I'm not going to be tested like a chimp just so you can put me in your records. If you can't tell who I am from this, my resume, and my webpage I'm not sure I want you finding me a job in the first place.
Are you a US Citizen? Sponsorship?
Born and raised here.
If you received a counter offer would you accept?
Depends on the offer, obviously.
Total years I.T. experience:
3
Education (Degree):
AAS natwork Administration. Red rocks Community College May 1998

MCSE Training currently, passed Networking Essentials Test so far. Estimated completion - Feb 1999.

Current Position:
Technical Support/Webmaster Accelr8 technologies.
Hardware:
PC's - pretty much all about them except for printers, and I havent like opened up a monitor yet.
Networking:
Ethernet (802.3) Knowledgeable of Internet and Web protocols and workings.
Data Bases:
little bit of MSAccess
Languages:
Perl5.
Software and Applications:
Standard office apps, DemoShield
Strengths:
I learn fast, can communicate on pretty much any level, play nice with others, and don't mince words. I tell things like it is, and get my job done. In exchange I expect to be given the freedom to goof off on occasion and ENJOY being there.
What are some accomplishments that you are really proud of?
I'm proud of the fact that I get up, go to a job I'm not happy with, deal with a planet full of people that mostly irritate me and I still manage to hold it all pretty well together and not become a totally incorrigible jerk.

I'm proud of the fact that I give people the benefit of the doubt, even after they completely screw me over once.

I'm proud of the fact that when I give them the benefit of the doubt that one extra time and the do it again, I let them have it.

Why would a company be interested in hiring you?
Because they're forward thinkers that can see the potential in a basic guy who was raised lower-middle-class and dug himself out to become a fairly well educated well rounded thinking individual that learns quickly, thinks quickly, applies what he knows to everyday situations. A company that isn't full of people that like to use buzzwords because they saw them on the news last night and know they can squeeze an extra few pennies out of the great unwashed if they stick "cyber" or "net" on the name of their product.
What would your counterparts say about you?
"Tony? He's a hell of a guy. Little dirty-mouthed, but a good guy that won't stick a knife in your back while shaking your hand with congratulations. One other thing, don't tick him off, he can be quite loud."

[ BONUS! - See what actual colleagues of mine have to say! ]

Can you provide us with five business and five personal references?
I'm sure I can dig them up, they won't all be IT though. I did a LOT of theatre before I became a geek.

Now, I have a few questions for you :

Why, if you got this off of the internet from one of the job boards, do you ask more than a few redundant questions?

What tehnical level are your recruiters at? Somewhere around 80% of "high-tech" recruiters don't have the slightest idea about what the job is that they're putting the yea or nay on people for.

Did you read my resume that you got from the Internet?

Did you follow the links to my personal page, or for the one I designed for accelr8?


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('cause I KNOW you can't find the back button)