Prenote: while waiting for my half-hour of torment and pain, I just turned on Mtv, where they're doing an entire thing about the fucking BackStreet Boys. One word - Gay. All of them. No straight group of boys would: A) Wear matching fake hockey-style jerseys made of shiny material with flames on them B) Pretend for this long that their voices havent changed C) Dance in unison outside of a Military Presentation the saddest part of all this... J is gonna make me listen to them non-stop now. fuck. hadda say it, tho. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ruthie Speaks! -or- Out of the mouths of drunks... %^) %^) %^) %^) %^) %^) %^) Episode Twelve %^) %^) %^) %^) %^) %^) %^) Much Rithie in the 'confessional' "I dont think I'm an alcoholic..." hold the fuck on. Miss Ruthie, did you NOT say on the first fucking show: "I'm an alcoholic" Yes, you did. Big Fucking Baby. Then she walks out AFTER telling them they can talk to her one at a time? Teck calls it right "You dont bring up family matters in front of others" of course, she then goes out drinking with her friends. niiiice. Colin is betrayed! He turns on his pseudo-gay-lover Matt! SISSY-MARY SLAP FIGHT! PLEASE!!!!!!!!! Her accomodating friends just thing shes bored, thats why she cant fucking conrtoll herself? No, dearie - Einstein was bored in school, Ruthie aint no einstein. Ruthies sister is freaking out about all this... maybe they should can Ruthie and take her sister - after all, B-M wouldnt say no. Shes got a good rack, after all. Colin tries to get Ruthie forced into the hospital based on the "what if I jumped" conversation. Ruthie's sis crying.... Justin trying to think of a way to get her in there.... dramatic music.... - - - - - -c-o-m-m-e-r-c-a-l-i-a- - - - - - OK - the first of the Blair Witch Ripoff commercials. Mtv Movie awards. Its traditional for them to do it, but they can Kiss my ass anyhow. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - MATT IS "SLOWLY CRACKING"!!!! WITH "TEARS IN HIS GUT"!!!! THEY'RE "SLOWLY BREAKING DOWN" Kaia - SHES TURNING ON MATT! Matt, being sensitive, cries a lot. kaia, seeing an opportunity to give advice, jumps her ass in... WOTTA PUSSY!!!!!!!!! BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!!!! Matt calls an "intervention specialist", and now decides hes the one that must intervene... Ruthie babbling about something.... Plans are laid... The speech: "They're concerned for her safety" = "You scare the fuck out of us" ultimatums are made. "I do not have a choice in this" she sees the ultimatum. "I'm strong enouhg to do this on my own" - Well APPARENTLY THE FUCK NOT, RUTHIE! We're all sick of her, we hope she goes to rehab, so shes not on the goddamn show. Did Ruthie just say "Talk is Cheap"??????? This is the woman whos done nothing BUT TALK for 12 episodes now!!! Shes gotta go see her councelor now - this is the woman she didnt wanna talk to in the first friggin place. Councelor is giving the soft touch, but still telling her she needs to geyt her shit together. more fucking confessional. shes not gonna let them take this all away from her? Ruthie, they WILL tie your ass up and toss you out, if they got any sack. - - - - - -c-o-m-m-e-r-c-a-l-i-a- - - - - - Tender drunk driving commercial. Good. finally they tie something in with the show. I cant believe they havent like put on a dozen Coors Light ads.... corporate assholes. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ominous music... picture of a volcano.... oooh.... Quality forshadowing. MORE FUCKING CONFESSIONAL!!!!!! "are we all here"???? You cant count?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! NOW she's willing to compromise... niiiiice. shes not gonna drink. she thinks they were 'too extreme' shes setting her own rules yeah, i wish I could get away with a "do-over" in my life, too, Ruthie. no. fuck you. YEAH!!!! Booring Justin speaks up! "THATS NOT FAIR!!!!" well, maybe you shoulds had the strength after they yelled at you the FIRST DOZEN TIMES moody "shes drunk on life" background music. subtle, guys. oh, NOW shes got a problem with justin... babble abuot how shes gonna be somebody. yeah, thats good. goodbye party friends! "thanks for comin out and drinking with me!" Ruthie aint going to the clinic. Shes not tellin her sisters what shes doing. "shes got it in her head what shes going to do" - thats good. freak them out some more Shes OUTTA TERE! "asta pasta", Ruthie. ....Next episode.... Oh god, more tormented crap with matt. but shes STILL NOT GONE .................... ````````````````under```the```credits```````````````` MORE FUCKING RUITHIE CONFESSIONAL!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! Thank GAWD shes moved out, now she cant get in that fucking confessional anymore ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````` I tell you, if this werent on the downslope, i'd have to quit this right now. theres still 'Downtown'. hoy.