--------------episode one----------- open with cool guy (Tek) Look, its the gay roommane, and she's a HOT LESBIAN!! Could they be more Blatant? "I've been out of a single relationship for a year, and I think i'm ready to go to hawaii and be swept off my feet..." "OK, HERE'S A HOT CHICK FROM THE SAME AREA!!!" Says Mtv. Back to hot lesbian getting hit on by "Outgoing cool guy" back to Couple-were trying to force together admiring the view... Show off a house none of theie viewers will EVER be able to afford. nakedity in first ten minutes - LOOK, ITS HOT LESBIAN --- SHE SURE IS HOT! (This is why they didnt pick ugly people) cut to cool guy saying "breasteses" kill me Amaya looks astounded at nude minortiy housemates. of corse, half the crew lost money on the bets that they would get to see her tits. Therye in the van making bets on who will fuck first. Love that well-edited attempt to create sexual tension. __cut to ads___many, many cool ads. Cool view of cool house Cool guy meeting roommates Matt "I will never skinnydip" matt is "Cool Calm guy" Amaya just called her tits "The Twins". You can tell she wears them simoultaneously like a badge and a pair of six-shooters. Oh, Look, its SERIOUS GIRL "...I haev so much charisma..." (kaya) remember, she wants to be PARTY GIRL cool mellow boy hits on HOT LESBIAN! oops! shes got a GIRLFRIEND! WHODA THUNKIT! and then comes Dopey guy - ge goes to harvard. very deep, very smart. Justin cant take his eyes off of Ruthies tits - then he admits hes gay! Wait! Ruthie is BI! various shots of housemates being annoyed that the gay question came out so soon... ITS REJECT BOY!!!! He will be the only sane one worth following. He got in because hes a giant dork. now hes feeling the outsider - hed the 7th guy. hes the one they ARENT trying to get laid by a housemate. ----------cool ads------------ inter ad thought: - why didnt they pick that Poet-spoken word chick? - she was cool and made te hot-factor cut. - when did inbred brothers become funny again? ------------------------ Room picking! I think if i hear "ho my god " again im gona puke. They got a Mac... I wonder what Apple Paid them for THAT? I'd be sending home form the slapbox immediately. Cool Mellow Boy IS A HOMOPHOBE!!!! but not towards lesbians, apparently. Amaya - loves her big boobies, and doesnt wanna show them to anyone... not for nothing. Tek - Kaya rooming together. Crew extremely happy - very condusive to drunken sex. Justin is a smart guy - they can't believe it!!!!! Dork boy sounds worried about rooming with gay guy... yet similarly intrigued... Kaya: "Im a good Listener" give that girl a FUCKING BEER Amaya is obsessed with her breasts. Kaya: Could use a few good heavy pasta meals. Amaya is obsessed with her breasts - still. dork boy calls dork friends and is being highly innapropriate - i love this guy already. ........... - - - cut to lesbian girls girlfriend - - - they will break up by the end of the season. I hope we get a few good fights, at least. ........... justin - consoling guy. Hes going to go to mush by the end of the series. Dork Boy. he loves it all and is going to be like a little kid the entire time. He's going to have a career with Mtv by series end. +++++++++++Change Gears++++++++++++++ booring shots of life... sleepy bedroom conversation before Ruthie goes, where we see scenes of her thinking about her shitty childhood. Wer'e all supposed to like her. Too bad she was picked to be the sex kitten. shes ok, tho. In all this, shes still in school. {{{{{{{{{{{ senic hawaii shots }}}}}}}}}}}} Amaya, AGAIN, takling about her breasts. though they are pretty goddamn large. now shes talking body issues.... shes the Freaky neurotic Chick for the show. Serious girl is invoking the Woman power in the house. Shes the Serious Bitch in the house. she will also have "The Big Fight" on the series More focus on Ruthie, who turns out to be an alcoholic. Great choice. I wonder if the Casting crew knew ABOUT THAT. of course, they hafta show her being drunk right away. kaya - has the complete works of Camile Paglia back home, right next to her Susan B Anthony quarter collection. ------------YET MORE COOL ADS------------- inter ad thoughts: - "Notting Hill" ripping off austin powers ads referring to Austin Powers - how fucking creative. assholes. Wasnt oging to see it before - now i wanna burn every single print I can find. - Dr Pepper ad - guy chooses soda over the girl. Yeah, right. Id kill that old guy and burn his shop for that chick. - these cotton ads are kinda cool, except for the fact that they wanna be CK ads in color ------------------------------------------- FIRST NIGHT OUT!!! OOOOHHHH!!!!!!!! (how do these underage kids get the fuck in in the first place?) dork boy is looking uncomfirtable a little Mellow Cool boy is having troubles with Ruthies drinking, and she gets her ass tossed out. the producers, when they saw the raw footage, are drooling with delight at how this is gonna boost the ratings through the roof... I'm predicting a bi-weekly "Deal with Ruthies Drunk" sequence. Mellow cool guy is holding naked Ruthie up in the shower - he stopped thinking this was cool when she started puking on his arm. they think shes gonna die of alcohol poisoining -Amaya is freaking abuot how bad the other roommates are for not coming home... IS SHE GONNA DIE??? of course not - shes in the trailers for the rest of the season. ------------------------trailer and more cool ads inter ad thoughts: - what? roommates fighting - nO WAY!!!! Sex happening in the house? SAY IT AINT SO!!!!! - Damon Wayans as Sergeant Savings? His career = done. - its dealin' Doug (Local Ad) If youre in Colorado, you see him. This guy SCREAMS mob. I hate him. ------------------------------------------------- party kids are going home, they talk abuot Ruthie in a harsh way, of course. Kaya - bitch Tek - gossip Dork Boy - Still can believe There are islands that big. back at the house.... more Kaya naked. I keep wanting to play her ribs like a glockenspeil. More post call gossip - in the hot tub... WHY NOT? uh, oh... here's Amaya - MOM'S HOME!!!!!! now shes sharing feelings of how shes distrustful and disappointed. (its amazing, they didnt even go one episode before she started freaking - shes gonna ba a pile of goo by july...) (((((((sad mood music)))))))))) Ruthie's drunk ass gets home. now we're all going to lecture her and shes going to have the typical addicts denial reaction. yep. now she thinks someone slipped her a mickey. Kaya talking like an intellectual - using the word "noble" WAIT!!!! Ruthie is feeling remorse now - maybe thats because shes getting lectures BY FOUR FUCKING PEOPLE shes pledging moderation. rihgt. +++ Now they tease us withthe promise of sex in the house and sound bites "ooh.. i like him" and fights and pissiness and the gangs requisite trip to an exotic land... ----close with credits over mellow cool boy and Ruthie talking deep talk---- on to Piggy from last road Rules... fuck I cant do this anymore. til next week.