I LOVE this show.

Not to be outdone in the realm of television trends, Discovery has their first reality series, American Chopper, the story of Big Paul Teutul and his son, Paul Jr., and their business Orange County Choppers. Like all father-son teams, Big Paul and Paul Jr. yell at each other

Like, a lot.

Opinion on the guys on the show ranges from people loving them to people thinking they're just a pair of big doofuses.

I don't really know, but I like to watch all the welding.

In the tradition of great television like The Love Boat, I give you:

1. When someone days "Awesome," drink.
2. When someone says "incredible," drink.
3. In the unlikely event somone on the show should have the word "FAAAAAABulous" come out of their mouths, EVERYONE finishes their drink immediately.

4. When Big Paul calls Paul Junior "stupid," drink.
5. If Paul Junior comes back with "You're Crazy," drink again.

6. Drink whenever Mikey is shown.
7. Drink two if Mikey does something stupid.
8. Drink Three if Paul Sr. OR Junior hits Mikey in any way.

9. Drink when Big Paul is shown riding his chopper in a "pensive mood."
10. Drink two if he is doing a philosophical vioceover during the shot.
11. Drink three whenever Big Paul is shown slumming it by riding his Harley Davidson.
12. Drink four if he's riding his HD and talking about how relaxing it is.

13. On road trip, drink every time ANYONE mentions:
    1. how nice it is to get away.
    2. how hard it is to be on the road.
    3. how the trip is a great way to catch up on sleep.

14. When Cody is shown working on a bike, drink.
15. Drink Two when Big Paul gives Cody a fatherly hug or advice.
16. Drink Two Paul Jr. acknowledges Cody's existence.

17. If a fireman is shown with the "Fire bike", drink.
18. If he's got the Dalmatian with him, drink two.
19. If there is ALSO an actual fire truck shown in the background, finish your drink.

20. Whenever Paul Jr. yells as Big Paul about how he never does any work. Drink.
21. When Big Paul comes back with something about "I could come out of retirement and work circles around you," drink yet again.

22. Drink everytime an object gets thrown.

23. Drink whenever someone slams a door.
24. Drink Three if the person slamming the door is Vinnie.

25. Drink when Paul Jr. Test rides a new chopper.
26. Drink two if the voiceover is Paul Jr. talking about how special the bike is.

27. Dink whenever someone punches that punchy-dummy thingie.

28. Drink if someone gets a new tattoo.

29. If Mikey ever gets his motorcycle license in an episode, drink it down! Drink the whole thing! w00t for Mikey!

    ADDED/SUGGESTED BY READERS!

30. Drink whenever Paul Jr. says "sick".
                                    - from: Closet Chopper Dude
31. You should take a drink anytime Mike, Paul Jr., Paul Sr., or Vinny says, "But I gotta be honest with you."
                                    - from: Brian
32. Drink anytime anyone uses the word "fabricate."
                                    - from: Matt
    
    I originally had some reservations about this one.
    With it, you'll probably not be sober enough to finish watching the show.
33. Drink everytime someone says, "I gatta tell ya"
    
                                    - from: Deanna
34. Drink whenever Paul Sr. invokes how big his feet are.
                                    - from a suggestion by Kevin Harley
35. Drink two if Paul Sr. invoked his feet by not only saying they are big, but their exact size. (Size 12).
                                    - from a suggestion by Kevin Harley
36. Drink whenever Paul Sr. Threatens to start kicking some butt
                                    - from a suggestion by Kevin Harley
    Kev originally wanted you to Drink three whenever Paul Sr says, "I'm gonna take my Size 12s and kick some Butt!!"
    I judged this as a RULE COMBO, and split it into three separate rules
    Slam-Dunk for Kevin! If I had any money, I'd send him a SlappyJack.com t-shirt.
    
37. Drink once everytime Paul Sr. says, IDEAR                                 - from: Chad

If you wanna add rules, sign up as a user!

Slap out.

16 Jul 03

ADDENDUM:

By the Throttle Cable of Jessy James! I'm apparently not the first person to think of this.

Beth Beat me to the Punch

Mother of Fuck.

On top of everything else, she is yet another person to be added to the list of people with better spalling and grammar than me.

26 Aug 03

ADDENDUM:

Note to the Teutuls:
A) As it's probably way too obvious by now, we all love the shit out of your show.
B) Paul Sr. is just like my Dad.

ADDENDUM 2:

Folks, I wanna know if any of you are actually PLAYING this game.

5 Sep 03

ADDENDUM 4:

Jesus Mary and Joseph!

Someone actually plagarized me: http://www.thehumorsource.com/joke.php?id=968

I've asked them to credit it properly, lets see what happens...

Ah, no wackiness, they credited it. YAY!

1 Oct 03

ADDENDUM 5:

I just got the following email form Brian of Mankato, Minnesota:

We finally played. It was a complete drunken mess by the end of the show.

Two thumbs up :)

I win!

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Here's another one: Every time Big Paul says" Would someone answer that fucking phone!", talke one drink. Every time he slams the phone down, take two drinks. If he gets pissed off and makes Mikey do it for him, take three!

Holey24 - 4 Dec 2003 7:30 am

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Now that a new season is starting, here some more rules:

-Drink 2 everytime Justin is shown using an air brush or applying paint to a bike in any way
-Drink 2 anytime someone is shown welding without a protective shield (e.g. whenever Paulie welds and simply shuts his eyes)
-Drink 2 everytime Cody cracks a smile

JappyMcChink - 15 Jan 2004 7:38 am

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Just started playing during tonights show and my friends and I came up with a few more:

Drink whenever anything catches on fire
Drink when Paul Sr. Says "Rediculus"
Drink when Paul Sr. gets pissed about the shop being dirty
Drink when anyone says "It's been a long day" and then leaves
Drink whenever they do a non bike related excursion (Hospital, Shooting Range, etc)

Thats all we though of tonight.

WheelmanCA19 - 9 Feb 2004 9:23 pm

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More American Chopper Drinking Rules

-When Cody, Rick, Campo, or Justin do a voice over
-When a bike falls off the lift
-When Paul Sr tells Paulie which fender,headlight, or tank to use. 2 drinks if Paul Sr is right.
-When Paul Senior leaves to go to the gym or get a massage
-When Paulie is late to work or some other type of function. 2 drinks if he is over an hour late
-When someone on the show is not wearing OCC gear
-When someone you are playing with is wearing OCC gear. 2 drinks if the same clothing item is being worn on the show
-When you see an AOL commerical with the OCC crew.
-5 Drinks if it is the one where Mikey goes back in time to the Renaissance
-If you see a commerical for your local choppershop during the show
-If someone you are playing the game with compares "American Chopper" to "Monster Garage"
If some of the bike parts are hand delivered so the fabricators can be on the show. 2 drinks if they "drove all night" to be there.
-Finish your drink if you see Paulie's smoking hot wife
-If someone on the show emphasises that Orange County is in New York
-Finish your drink and turn off the TV if an OCC member cries

Barrlax - 16 Feb 2004 10:30 am

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Ok, I did this last night and it is the BEST thing EVER: ok here... everytime Paul Sr. Says "Idear".... Drink ONE! Anytime he says "And the WHAT NOT" Drink two! It is THAT easy... Sweet!

chadthedrummer7 - 24 Feb 2004 3:02 pm

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I have one to add to the list if you guys can handle any more.
drink one every time Vinny says Yatzee

naa_n_occ - 3 Mar 2004 3:34 pm

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every time big paul says, "i'm gettin aggravated" or "i'm gettin irritated" drink!

LSDelia - 31 Mar 2004 7:47 pm

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Whenever they show someone NOT wearing OCC clothes, when something doesnt fit properly and when Sr says "quit dicking around"

skr0oball - 26 Apr 2004 10:37 pm

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Take a drink when Paul Senior says "Is that fucking bike done yet?"

SLAYER - 30 Apr 2004 2:41 pm

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>Take a drink everytime you see Pauljr wearing an American Chopper beanie or his leather jacket. >Take a drink everytime Mikey has to take the trash out. >Take a drink every they mention DAVINCI who makes their carbs. >Take a drink when ever you see Justin paint their bikes. > Take a drink every time you here "What's up Chuck" to Chuck who makes their wheels. >Take a drink every time you see Gus Paul seniors dog.

SLAYER - 30 Apr 2004 2:54 pm

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You gotta take a drink whenever Paul Sr. says "whatnot". Don't know how you guys missed that one!

pmsg - 20 Jul 2004 9:15 am

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You have to take a drink whenever someone flips down their welding mask without using their hands.

leo - 9 Nov 2004 7:00 pm

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Take a drink whenever someone wrecks a motorcycle.

shelly_occ1 - 9 Dec 2004 2:35 pm

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Take a drink whenever Paul Sr. says, "No 'ands,' 'ifs,' 'buts,' or...whatever."

Take a drink whenever Vinnie is referred to by anything but "Vinnie" (ie: Vin, Vance, Vancent, Vancie-pants, etc.)

Take a drink whenever Paul Sr. says "Where the hell is Paulie?"

Take a drink whenever Vinnie is left alone to work on a project by himself.

Take a drink whenever Campo refers to himself as an "artist."

Finish your drink when they show Paulie & Mikie's mother.

WavyG - 22 Feb 2005 10:32 pm

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Thought of some additional rule to the AC game:
Anytime the OCC guys lose to OCIW drink two
Anytime someone famous enlists the guys to do a theme bike drink
When Sr studders during an argument with Jr drink
Whenever JR says i don't know drink 2
When Jr says Ricker drink 2
If Joe from H&L appears finish your drink
Whenever anyone wears the OCC hat backwards drink
When Jr says that OCC reputation is on the line drink
When the bike doesn't start finish drink

angie_03 - 26 Feb 2005 3:06 am

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Don't take a piss during the game until Sr. says "do somethin'"

Champp - 17 May 2005 12:20 am

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Have a drink whenever Paul Senior suggests something needs more chrome.
Take three drinks if during the break they ever play that awesome NAPA solid-chrome truck commercial again.

sede - 11 Jul 2005 6:50 pm

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Drink whenever Paul Sr. says "Idear" (his Northeastern accent for "idea")

Micah - 18 Oct 2007 9:09 pm

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everytime Sr. says, "mikey, what the hell? DRINK!!!

bobby - 29 Oct 2007 2:00 pm

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Yse
We are plyaying hte (hic) game....

Cheers

(Marty from Australia)

Martin - 14 Jul 2008 1:55 am

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