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Goddamnit, I'd piss on a spark plug if I thought it'd do any good!
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More Olympic suckitude, fun at work, then some more suckitude.

Yes, I have more to say:
  • "Gymnastic Gala"?

  • I'm glad the gymnastic portion of the Olympics is over, 'cause I couldn't stand to listen to the comentators one minute more. By the end of it they were simply being bitchy.

  • Hey, remember when the Olympics were competitions of amateur athletes from all the world, and there was such a thing as "The Olympic Spirit", and when they broke away to local news it was local news, and the comentating wasn't always a team of annoying-ass talking heads and athletes-turned-journalists, and most of the human interest stories ere about what these people did in real life?

    You know, before "amateur athletes" made their living off of endorsements, or we just got rid of the amateurs and used pros.

    Yeah, I do. Vaguely.

  • "Gymnastic Gala"??

  • Miss Jones: I, like the rest of the country, love you to death. Even more so now that you made the whole of Olympic Media Team your bitch by telling them to leave you the hell alone about C.J.

    But what is it with that hair?

  • If you didn't watch the wrestling wednesday night, you suck.

  • Synchronised Diving? Uuh... no.

  • "Gymnastic Gala"??? What in the fuck gives this non-event precedence over actual sporting events???

    wait, I know - advertising dollars.

    Fuck you, NBC. Fuck your moneygrubbing whorishess and your shitbag coverage.

But enough about how annoying NBC made the olympics...

Being that I'm still techincaly a contractor, I don't have any business cards from my place of work (now that I think about it, none of my gigs out here have yielded any business cards). We have this thing tonight - it's this mixer thing that this local restaurant is poutting together. We get a free beer for it.

Its this place called Venture Frogs... really, just go see their site.

look at the menu.

So we're all going to this thing which is so dot-com people can come and rub elbows and meet and hopefully engrain in their heads that this is a good restaurant to do this in regularly...

Being that its a mixer, people are going to be trading business cards. I'm just a contractor - officially - so I got no cards.

So we made some. I wrangled the creative guy here into making up a few templates we can print on cheesy perforated card stock - they basically look like the gray of the page with the slappyjack logo on it with my name and email address.

Then I came up withthe idea of putting little taglines on them, and I wanted, uh.. "interesting" titles.

being that he's even more twisted than I am, we came up with the following combinations:

"Bringing the kind of joy only circumcision.com"
Lead Mohle

"The kind of site your mother warned you about"
Head of Youth Services

"AOL can lick our collective ass"
Code Samurai

"Forging new paradigms for e-stupidity business models"
E-Bullshit Solution Engineer

If you have any other bright ideas, send them in! I can't wait to hand these out.

In other news, one of the guys was looking at mapblast.com for something and I suddenly hear him say
"My God, look at San Francisco with all the Starbuck's locations overlaid onto it"

Here's the financial district:

please kill me now.

Yeah, that about sums it all up.

Slap Out.

28 Sep 00

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previously:
Olympic suckitude.
nextly:
ass, ass, and of course, my ass.

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