Surapijaku.kamu
I've got a bad feeling about this.
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the world. ending.

oh, god, where to start...

Since we got furniture I introduced the wife to my tradition of getting nerw coasters for the tables in the apartment...

AOL CDROMS.

You just go downstairs, see them all discarded there on the table next to the mailboxes. Thay're put there after people see them in their mailbox and yell "yeech!", but can't quite bringthemselves to destroy them. So I take them. Theyre free, typically colorful, and you get that small feeling of glee when you scratch the shit out of and render useless a really bad piece of software.

Theyre also great for bouncing offa wall onto a cat doing soemthing bad because they think they can get away before you stand up.

Anyhow, I was looking at the packaging of these things the other day and noticed the taglines:

Enhanced high speed access - This is dependent on you getting conneted in the first place

ALL NEW even easier to use e-mail! View photos with You've Got Pictures(TM) right in your mail! - Of course, anyone with half a brain in their head can do this on any other email account on the planet. I'm sure the ARPANET guys were UUEncoding porn to shock each other out with years ago.
I think they're talkig about a thing they do with Kodak to process your film and then email you the pictures. This, of course, results in may moronic users deleting and losing their pictures, thus needing new copies of them. You can already go to the goddamn store or mail in your film and have them send you a CDROM of your pix - thus eliminating the need for eating up your Hard drive.

SEVEN E-mail addresses for every account! - Not that most AOL users have figured out how to use the normal FIVE they have already, nor can you make a name simpler than HOt8326423Guy83492347 because they've all been used.

This also gives each member another two mailboxes they have to clean out 75 pornographic emails a day from.

FREE "My Calendar" and one-click access to the latest news, movie listings, local weather, sports, and even last minute travel bargains! - The listing of sites that do this for you already, and better, is too long to link...

Don't forget the fact that Windows 98 comes with its own calendar that you don't have to fight to dialup into.

Integrated IE 5.0 - Do I even need to say anything here? In all honesty, this is the first version of IE that hasn't totally annoyed me with its bugginess, though the fact that it comes with the standard "We're smarter than you are" MiscoSnot logic and is doing its utmost to undermine standard protocols keeps it in the category of Shit Software as far as I'm concerned.

Then the next day...

AOL BUYS TIME WARNER???

This, to anyone of my meager intelligence or higher (which would go to include most people) is more freightening then the first crackpot draft of the CDA a few years back. One of the largest media companies on the fucking planet now belongs to the one of the most incompetent companies on the planet.

Are Joc and I the only ones that saw this in the paper, turned to each other and said "Yeah, the world is ending"?

Remember, thanks to AOL you can no longer move freely artound the Netscape site without wondering which link is going to spawn yet another of those fucking "TRY AOL FREE!" popup windows, irritating the last of us that use Netscape as a way to thumb our noses at Uncle Bill to the point where we just give up and say "FUCK IT! THE MAN HAS WON"

This is also the company with multiple years running of having a record of "Crappiest Customer Service".

This is also the company who's service is a favorite of pedophiles, spammers, and other ne'er do wells of the online world. Hopefully they won't do much more damage to Time Warner than to use to to penetrate the market with more shitty CDs.

This is, as you can see, the prediction i made a few weeks ago coming true. AOL is going to make itself "even easier than before" so many damn times that they're going to be nothing more than a series of cable channels.

I'll make a deal with them - you guys stop your people from getting into the internet proper, and I'll stop calling you a bunch of loser fuckheads.

deal?

I didn't think so.

So now this site here is going to take a little turn... More webnazi-ish than before. More geeky. The cutsey shit I write about my lovely wife will be located elsewhere - I'll tell you where to find it when it's up.

In the meantime, I got work to do.

Slap Out.

17 Jan 00

Note to geeks - installing SQL Server 7 across a 45-mile long network? Kicks Ass.

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