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in leiu of actual content...

I litle treat and some random thoughts...

The treat:
Half the fun of doing this peice of crap site is running reports on how the hell you people find me in the first place. Many of you are sick, sick, fucks.

Ladies and gentlemen, i give you:

the SlappyJack.com Search Word Rreport for 2001

Favorite search phrases include:

  • fuck harry potter
  • shitty panties
  • girls farting
  • seeeeex
  • biggest cock she

    and, of course,

  • biggest cock ever

    Apparently, I am the biggest cock ever.

I warn you, it's quite large. 280K+ large. Dialups need not apply. The report is generated with Analog, the brainchild of Stephen Turner. I highly recommend it. Tell Steve that Slappyjack sent you and he'll probably respond, "Slappy-Who?"


Random Thoughts that will and up related in some way:

Hey, Mercedes, "In your ass, my foot, I shall plant." Also, can you get me the address for The kid that plays Pepé or whatever indigeneous people he's supposed to be that talks all fucked up and mystical like that? I hear Save the Children is looking for a few more ethnic orphans for their next shoot.

Fuck you.


Latest random fact dredged up make people email me and call me a commie-pinko that should go back to where I came from because I bad-mouth cars:

Light rail is more cost-effective than freeway construction. Estimates for urban freeway construction range as high as $1 billion per mile, while new light rail costs only $10 to $16 million per mile.
I found this at http://www.culturechange.org/factsheet2.html
Also, following your advice of going back to where I came from would put me in upstate NY, probably a few mles down the road from your trailer, and would also do certain irrepairable damage to my mother's innards.


Searching "Automotive deaths per year total" in Google brought up the paid link

CarsDirect.com America's #1 way to buy and finance cars online
Maybe they don't have the cleanest logic in their search after all.


Speaking of cars, I'd like to personally thank Ford for having a layoff so big that even ex-Quokka employees can laugh at it. Yeah, selling all them titanic SUV's with 0% financing did wonders for ya, eh?

I'm just waiting for the rest of the automotive industry to really start gettin' down on their knees and sucking off Congress for a magical "emergency bailout".


The other day we watched episodes of Land of the Lost on tape that Josh bought from Amazon. Jesus H Christ did that show suck ass. I've seen amateur porn from Titjuana with better production values.

HOWEVER, even though it was made for little unsophisticaed bubbleheads that we were back in the mid 70s, I guarantee you that if a handful of us start enough buzz about it online that we'll be able to shell out $12 a pop to see a movie remake of it two summers from now.

and that will suck even worse.


Kordell, Kordell, Kordell... You get 7 whole minutes during the halftime show today and you wear that sweater-thing?

If you're gonna come out, don't do it through really bad clothes, ok?


Fox's The Chamber Looked like it was going to suck drippy, unwiped, diarreah ass, and BOY HOWDY DID IT EVER!

This is also the same bunch of fuckwads that cancelled The Tick after showing us a total or four episodes, twice each, and never at the same godamn time.

Folks, if you're gonna sacrafice a show to the Must See TV Juggernaut, you might as well let us watch an entire fucking season.

I'm prayint Sci-Fi ot Comedy central pick this one up...


Don't forget to hit the link under the logo and send some love to your friends. Mr. Abnormal worked really hard on them.

wow. two updates in one month. I'm like a fucking journaler or something.

Slap Out

13 Jan 02

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